Guide for new Single Male Swingers
The number 1 rule in the swinging lifestyle is that no always means NO!
Anyone can say no at anytime while swinging. If the other person or people do not stop immediately then they are committing rape and will never be allowed to any swinging events again.
Over the last months we have noticed that we have many single males joining us who seem to think that by "Becoming a Swinger" they are guaranteed sex.
We are sorry, but this is not true.
- In the swinging scene no one is guaranteed sex.
- Swingers are all in the lifestyle for their own fun and enjoyment.
- Swingers only have sex with people they find mentally and physically attractive.
Questions asked by single men.
We have lots of WhatsApp messages asking us various questions
Please read this before contacting us.
Can I have the Contact Details of women?
We do not collect the contact details of our members except for their email addresses.
We guarantee our members that we will not pass their contact details to anyone.
- We do not collect the phone numbers of our members.
- The numbers we do have are never shared with other members.
- We do not allow email addresses or telephone numbers to be displayed in profiles or on photographs
- This is because in the past we had problems with people posting the personal details of other people.
- You can only create a profile using your own email address or you cannot verify your profile.
How Do I contact other Swingers?
- The only way you can contact our members is by writing a message to them on the website.
- As soon as you send someone a message it appears in their inbox.
- You can check to see if your message has been read by going to your "Sent" messages box in the messaging system.
- There will be an icon of an envelope at the top of each message.
- If your message has been read, then it will say "Read with a time it was read"
- If the message has not been read yet it will say "Not Read"
Person x has not responded to my Messages
- We cannot force people to respond, but if your message is interesting they are more likely to respond than if you just send a rude or short message.
- Sending a message such as "I want to have sex with you" is unlikely to get you a response.
Swingers Clubs and Parties
- We cannot arrange swingers parties in Christchurch, it would be impossible to cover our costs.
- We are trying to get the details of swingers clubs and parties in Christchurch, as we get the information it will be added to the page Swingers in Christchurch Parties
- You need to be aware, most swingers parties are for couples only. Some couples enjoy having an extra man, these parties are listed as "Couples and Singles Parties".
- Please do not contact us asking for details of clubs or parties in Christchurch. All that we know about are on the party page or our sister website https://clubsandparties.com.
Can you give me details of an Escort?
- No. Escorting and Prostitution have nothing to do with swinging.
- Swingers never charge each other for sex. Everything in swinging is for fun. No-one is employed to provide sex for swingers.
- Escorts and Prostitutes charge for sex. They cannot be classified as swingers.
- We do not have details of any Prostitutes or Escorts or Call Girls in Christchurch.
- Some escorts create profiles, if we find them we delete them.
Can you help me get started?
Single men have a hard time to be accepted into the swinging Lifestyle.
There are hundreds of thousands of you all wanting to get involved in the swinging scene, mostly it must be said simply because its the easiest way to get sex without getting a mortgage, kids and an overdraft!, many due to broken marriages or relationships, but sadly there also many miss-fits; like the guys who have no social graces and are therefore unable to make friends through work or social gatherings, those who see themselves as gods gift to women, and as a result no woman wants to know them, and sadly the ones who have odour problems.
You will have to make a lot of effort to be picked by a couple or a lady.
Things that may help you.
- Honesty - don't exaggerate your looks, ability, wealth etc. If you are 30 say 30, if 50 say 50. Ladies are more interested in the real you than an age, but if they catch you lying about one thing, they will not trust you on anything else! If you are a married male or a "significant other" playing away from home, say so, pretending to be single but sneaking off to make phone calls, or having to rush off to beat a curfew is not going to fool anyone for very long.
- Relevancy - If you respond to an ad, make sure you are what the advertiser is looking for. Don't respond to an ad asking for a 20 something green eyed, blonde male if you are 45, grey hair and brown eyes - you will just frustrate the advertiser by clogging up their mail box.
- Be Concise - Make your email response concise, but not a one line "I want to shag you" Make sure that you fit the description of the person the advertiser is looking for, and reiterate the points where you fit the description. Don't send them a 2000 word essay outlining your every fantasy and experience to date, you can go into these details later. Remember first impressions count, be polite, open, and to the point without being blunt.
- Grooming - If you get lucky and are invited to meet socially turn up smart. An unshaven, guy in crumpled clothes and smelling of sweat will not get you into their bedroom - unless the girl has specified that she is looking for a bit of rough. On the other hand, don't wear a bottle of aftershave!. Dress appropriately for the venue, smart casual, clean and pressed clothes will see you through in most venues. Remember to shower, clean your teeth and brush your hair.
Pictures - If you are sending a picture, or putting a picture on your profile follow a few simple rules.
- Unless requested, always send a face & body shot, don't use cock shots, girls look at eyes, hands, bums, legs and hair before they look at cocks. It may be your pride and joy, but it is more likely to lose you responses than gain them for you. If they do want to see your 25cm monster they will ask.
- Use a recent picture, you can fool someone until you meet them. Just because you get them to meet you does not mean you will get any further if the picture was of someone else, or you 10 years ago.
- Put your profile name across the centre of the picture, this is to stop photo collectors, and to enable people to remember which photo goes with which email.
- Contact Couples - as a single male you are more likely to get action with a couple, than you are with a single girl. Don't worry, you will find that most of the guys in couples are straight, but they love to watch their wife with another guy/guys. You must clarify before the meet that a) there is a couple by talking on the telephone and b) asking outright if the guy is straight.
- Attend Parties - There are parties running every weekend - somewhere. Most are for couples only, some are for couples and guys or greedy girls and guys. It is a sad fact of life that 90% of the time you will be charged more as a single guy than the couples or girls will pay, this is down to supply and demand. Do not go to these parties looking for a one on one session with a girl, it is just not going to happen. If however you follow the rules of etiquette, you are almost guaranteed sex, as the girls who attend these parties like to have lots of men. You will find that most often it is the clubs that cater for single men rather than parties held by swingers in their homes. Before you go to a party make sure you read the etiquette section on this site. click here to see the etiquette section.
- Single girls - If you see an ad from a single girl, read it carefully. If it looks to good to be true, it probably is. Lots of girls are actually guys advertising trying to collect naked pictures, others may be escorts trying to get you to call them, but of course most of them are real.
- Sobriety - Don't get drunk, or try kissing the girl if you are stinking of beer. Take some breath fresh mints with you. Remember, although the girl is looking for some fun in the sack, she has many other guys to choose from. Whoever you are going to meet remember that although its scary, the other people will be as nervous as you. Don't get drugged up either. No once fancies people who are not in control of their faculties. A drink to steady the nerves is OK, bouncing off the walls and throwing up is not going to impress anyone.
- Be Graceful - If you respond to an ad and you get a turn down, don't harass the advertiser. Be graceful and accept that you may not fit the persons requirements. Sending dozens of mails asking for reasons or being abusive will not get you anywhere, and in many cases will mean that a warning goes around the community to avoid you.
Love - Never fall in love with a swinger. Swinging is about having sex and fun with other people. Most of these people are in happy relationships and are
looking for sex, not love. Declaring your love for someone is going to complicate the issues, and put strains on everyone's relationships, you could even
destroy the other persons marriage.
If you are looking for love check one of the many lonely hearts sites on the internet.
- First Date - Turn Up, On time, remember - You only have one chance to make a first impression - screw up the first meeting and you are history. You will be seen a as timewaster, and couples talk to each other and warn about time wasters, rude people and poor performers. If you make a good impression they will probably meet you again, they may share you with their friends, and take you to parties. Make a bad impression and the word will go around that you are no good, your chances of swinging will drop to zero.